relapse turn-around

i relapsed on the weekend - it was so hard not too as i needed the energy to work.

i work at a cinema (dont want to mention names - that could be bad) and the smell of popcorn drives you crazy hungry, i tried to skip dinner on friday night but after work, i missed by bus and the next one wasnt for an hour so i sat in oportos. the smell of food at 11pm drove me insane so i had to get some chips. then i finally caught the bus to my bf's house (my parents were away for teh weekend and they dont trust me alone in the house, which is a shame, i could have concealed my not eating so much better that way.) on saturday i had a work meeting at 9am, and i always have breakfast - i cant function without it 

after the work meeting everyone got lunch, cept me. as i ate breakfast through meeting (munched on muesli - woo go me) so i was able to deny it. i worked that night again, 2 til 10, i managed to skip dinner but afterwoulds i relapsed once again!

i couldnt not - i had to wait an hour for my bf to pick me up and i got lured in by the m'n'ms sale on in coles. needless to say, i devoured a whole packet and felt incredibly guilty. not to mention the fact that the bf showed up with oaks - vanilla malt, my fave and how could i deny?

so that was like, my calorie intake for the day right then and there

sunday was even worse - bfs father made us breakfast. bacon and eggs. :(

had a salad for lunch and about 2 litres of water and managed to skip dinner!

monday slightly better.

had brekky before school, walked to school and didnt eat lunch or dinner

except after drama that evening i met up with friends and was semi forced into icecream (apparently the best i'll ever have) it was delicious, but as soon as i got home i was pissed with myself for ruining the day with icecream and proceeded to throw up in the shower.

today was the best.

i had my brothers cereal (fibre plus!) for brekky - walked to school

didnt have recess, but at lunch the rumbling tummy gave me away and so i had HALF a piece of lebanese bread (only 50c for a whole piece at my canteen) i wanted to eat all of it, but gave it away to one of the boys

its now 7:47, i've only had gum since then - but i'm worried i'll be called for dinner.

i'll just tell me i'm feeling sick. maybe if i went to bed now, they wont even bother with me.

hopefully this week will show some results

aha! just then i got a knock on my door asking if i wanted a jaffle or something for dinner.

my reply "no thanks, i'm feeling a bit sick, im going to go to bed soon. " i might go and shower and pull out the book im meant to be reading for english. maybe they'll all just sod off and leave me alone.