trying to be invisible ?

i'm back, but it feels like no one even noticed that i was gone.

no one 'noticed' the tears at school because they are her friend more than mine

but i'm trying to forget about that, trying sooo hard but failing so easily. the first week after i found out actually helped me in this aspect of my life. i didnt eat much at all during that week and i ran out all my anger. but when the weekend rolled round and i was invited out i got reaaaally drunk on both friday and saturday and ate all my feelings. all that hard work down the drain. 

so on the monday i tried to pickup where i left off but the weekend just saw me repeat all the same mistakes. 

this week i'm trying so hard. i screwed up a teensy bit last night but i'm trying to make up for it today - i havent eaten anything. its only 4pm so lets hope i dont screw up. 

and guess what? in less than two weeks its my birthday. seventeen ! 

lets hope that if im not skinnier by then, i will be for my informal !

fingers crossed.