i've been away for a couple of days and thats because so much has happened that its been unbelievable.i didnt think i would ever post again, let alone get of bed.so heres the sitch that has pretty much ruined my life.the boyfriend cheated on me. again. this time with the girl i hate. and actual sex this time.fffudddggeecakes.he's cheated on me a couple of times but i always took him back.the first two times he hooked up with randoms. the time before this, he ate out my best friend.but this is the worst. and i hate him for it. we've been dating two years - not anymore though. apparently it happened three months ago after a massive fight where we decided to break up. (the breakup lasted a day)he told me he kissed her - i was furious for weeks.it was only this weekend after a massive fight that i squeezed it out of him. and now he keeps calling me, apologising, trying to get me to take him back, but i've promised myself i wouldnt. i dont want him. i dont like him. i dont like myself. but he's going to be what drives me even harder now. i'm going to look fabulous to rub it in both their faces. but its sooo harrrddd to ignore him. just then i got a text, here's what it says:i was calling you to tell you that i'm going to stop now. its really hard for me. Im scared that in a month you will have found someone else. Im lost and afraid now that you hate me. jemma, I know part of you still loves me and misses our late night chats and misses the hugs and kisses and i love yous. when you can stand me again i am going to be the best person i can be. i would give anything to have you back. i have loved you deeply since i was thirteen. my life is nothing without you.how the fudge do you respond to something like that?arghh, all i know is that it lead me to screw up during the weekend, but now i'm back on track. i can do this. i will do this. it has to be done.

i've been away for a couple of days and thats because so much has happened that its been unbelievable.

i didnt think i would ever post again, let alone get of bed.

so heres the sitch that has pretty much ruined my life.

the boyfriend cheated on me. again. this time with the girl i hate. and actual sex this time.

fffudddggeecakes.

he's cheated on me a couple of times but i always took him back.

the first two times he hooked up with randoms. the time before this, he ate out my best friend.

but this is the worst. and i hate him for it. we've been dating two years - not anymore though. apparently it happened three months ago after a massive fight where we decided to break up. (the breakup lasted a day)

he told me he kissed her - i was furious for weeks.

it was only this weekend after a massive fight that i squeezed it out of him.

and now he keeps calling me, apologising, trying to get me to take him back, but i've promised myself i wouldnt. i dont want him. i dont like him. i dont like myself. but he's going to be what drives me even harder now. i'm going to look fabulous to rub it in both their faces.

but its sooo harrrddd to ignore him. just then i got a text, here's what it says:

i was calling you to tell you that i'm going to stop now. its really hard for me. Im scared that in a month you will have found someone else. Im lost and afraid now that you hate me. jemma, I know part of you still loves me and misses our late night chats and misses the hugs and kisses and i love yous. when you can stand me again i am going to be the best person i can be. i would give anything to have you back. i have loved you deeply since i was thirteen. my life is nothing without you.

how the fudge do you respond to something like that?

arghh, all i know is that it lead me to screw up during the weekend, but now i'm back on track. i can do this. i will do this. it has to be done.